Survey questions: A chance to tell your own story about how you feel about your body...

Dear Powerful, uber-cool Women,
 (sorry guys, the book's about women)

I'm working on a book about Women's Body Image.  The arch of it is about shifting Judgment into Acceptance.  That includes how we judge ourselves and others, and how others judge themselves and us.  It also includes how we release our judgments of others and especially how we come to love and accept ourselves just as we are.

The book will include my own personal journey from judgment to acceptance of my body, my paintings, some facts and figures, and, very importantly, personal stories from my models and other women who struggle daily with the very same issues.

I am at the stage right now where I am gathering stories from others.  If you are interested in sharing your stories, please send them to me at susansingerart@hotmail.com.  If you would like to answer anonymously, you can comment through the blog and share as "anonymous".  These questions are quite personal, so please check in with yourself to see if you're OK sharing this information with me or not.  If you respond, I will assume you're OK with my using your stories in my book and perhaps on this blog.  Please only share if you're comfortable with that agreement.  Please let me know if you would like me to use your first name or a pseudonym if I use your story.

I'm exceedingly grateful to you for sharing whatever you'd like to.  Your story may be just the thing a woman in Nebraska needs to hear to help her get insight into the feelings she's having about being pregnant, or the young girl in California who's thinking about getting a tattoo but can't quite decide, or the aging matron in Florida who hates the wrinkles and flab gathering everywhere on her body and needs a different point of view to help her see her own beauty.

We, as women, are incredibly powerful.  It is time we share the outstanding stories of our lives so we can empower others, so we can love ourselves, so we can end self-hatred.  Thank you for sharing your stories.  They matter.

Here are some questions you may want to consider or which may provoke some memories.  Feel free to address any of them which are pertinent to you, or please ignore them completely and tell me whatever you'd like to!

How do you feel about your body? 

Were there any experiences you had growing up which influenced how you see yourself?

Did your mother say anything to you which affected how you feel about your body?

Did your father say anything to you which affected how you feel about your body?

How did your mother feel about her body?  Did that affect how you feel about yours?

What sort of familiy legacy do you have around body image?  (i.e. all the women in your family are overweight; at family gatherings, there are piles of fattening food but no one eats it - they just stand around and talk about how they need to lose weight;  your sisters are all anorexic; etc.)

When you meet another woman for the first time, what do you notice first?  Do her looks affect whether you choose to become friends with her (consciously or not)?

Do you judge yourself or your looks harshly?  

Can you be gentle with yourself and how you look?  How did you come to that place of self-acceptance?

Are their any activities you do which you notice help you feel great about your body?  (for example: dance, exercise, have sex, go for a walk, talk to friends, eat healthily, sleep well)

Conversely, are there any activities you do which you notice cause you to feel bad about your body? 

Have you ever dieted?  If so, what made you decide to?  Was it successful?

Does your ethnic heritage have an impact on how you perceive yourself/your looks/your body?

If you have a tattoo - what does it mean to you?  What made you decide to get it?  How does it affect how you see yourself?

If you have chosen to get piercings, what do they mean to you?  What made you decide to get them?  How do they affect how you see yourself?

Have you modified your body in any other ways?  Would you consider doing so?  Why or why not?  (i.e. plastic surgery, breast reduction, mole removal, shave your head, lightening your skin, tanning booth)

Have you ever worried about your weight?  Have you ever dieted?  If so, what made you decide to?  Was it successful?

If you've had a child, how did giving birth affect how you feel about your body?

If you nursed a baby, how did/does that affect how you see yourself?

If you have daughters, what sort of dreams do you have for your girls as they grow up?

Do you think your sexual orientation (heterosexual/homosexual/transgender, etc.) affects how you feel about your body?  If so, in what ways?

Have you ever experienced abuse (physical, sexual, emotional)?  If so, do you think it affected how you feel about your body?  If so, how?  How did you cope with the abuse?  What have you done to heal?

Have you had any major illnesses or surgeries which have affected how you see yourself or how you feel about your body?

How do you feel about any scars you may have?

If you are overweight, how does that affect your body image?  your self esteem?  

      Are you comfortable with your weight?

      How do you think others perceive you?

If you are underweight, how does that affect your body image?  your self esteem?

      Are you comfortable with your weight?

      How do you think others perceive you?

Have you ever had an eating disorder?  How did that affect your body image?  your self esteem?

      Did you get help for it?

      Do you feel like you have an accurate picture of yourself now?

      How have you learned to eat healthily?

      What do you think may have triggered you to stop eating/start throwing up/ begin overexercising?

How old are you?

What are your feelings about aging?  How is your perception of your body shifting as you age?

What concerns do you have about aging?

Does aging affect how you perceive your body?  Does it make your more judgmental or more accepting of yourself?

If you have reached the point in your life where you are accepting of your body and your self, how did you get there?

Did any of the following help you learn to accept your body or your Self?  If so, how?  Spirituality, support of others, making art, other forms self expression, dance, exercise.

How have your feelings about your body manifested in your sexuality?  (for example: Have you acted out because you hated your body?  Have you chosen not to have sex because you fear having anyone see you?  Have you had lots of sex because you felt free and comfortable in your body and wanted to share your freedom with others?  Were you educated with abstinence only sex education so chose to wait until marriage?)

Have you had moments of transcendent joy in your body which shut out any negative messages you otherwise experience? 

Are there times when you are fully present in your body and loving what it does?  What are you doing at those moments? 

Are there other stories about your feelings about your body you'd like to share?

May I use your name?  Or is there a pseudonym you'd like me to use?  

May I contact you if I have further questions?  How should I get in touch?