A friend of mine sent me this quote the other day. I am finding it quite useful to reflect on it
and to consider its inherent wisdom:
Katherine Briggs wrote to her daughter Isabel Myers ( I think Isabel was in her 20's at the time). "Please memorize: It is the PRIVILEGE of parents of grown up children to make suggestions; and it is the DUTY of the children to give serious consideration to those suggestions. It is the PRIVILEGE of grown up children to make their own decisions; and it is the DUTY of the parents to respect and acquiesce in these decisions."
As my kids grow up and move into their 20's and out of the house and onto their own, it's so
important that I back off and let them do what they need to do to live their own lives. And
still be there for them as much as they want me to be. We each have to sort of how much that
is exactly. Some days it's more, some days it's less. In some situations, I want it to be more,
and they understandably want it to be less! For example, Dylan is leaving for China tomorrow
and I am having some feelings about it. I trust him completely so it has nothing to do with that at all.
I just worry a bit because it's a gigantic country, he doesn't speak much Chinese, and he'll be
alone most of the time. He has done an amazing job preparing for it, but that doesn't mean I'm
not a bit concerned about his two month odyssey. And I'm excited for him and can't wait
to hear the tales! It is certainly a mixed bag. He doesn't need or want my concerns right now,
and it isn't appropriate for me to share them with him, especially since they aren't overly rational.
He is sensitive enough that he sense them anyway, poor guy! And he knows that if he needs me,
I'm here. My job is to stay away unless I'm needed and let him grow as he grows and live his life -
it is, after all, HIS life!
Parenting is a lot trickier than I ever thought it would be. I think there should be classes in school
to teach people how to parent. And communicate effectively. And handle ones anger. And finances.
So many things would be more useful than some of the academics we learn and are so hard to
come by on ones own.
Here's wishing Dylan a safe, wonderful journey, and each of you a safe, wonderful journey
with your kids!