Will you join the revolution?

This morning I was confronted with an uncomfortable reality: there are people who do NOT like nudity.  I guess I know this theoretically, but it confuses me each time I run smack dab into it yet again.  I find the human body so fascinating, so surprising, so beautiful in all its forms that I don't quite know what to do when people express to me how offended they are by my depictions of said bodies.

In the past and again recently I have learned that some businesses which have supported me as an artist have paid a price in lost business because some customers haven't wanted to be around paintings of nude women.  On the other hand, some folks were drawn into the businesses by the paintings, so I'm hoping it goes both ways.

But I find it ultimately so sad that people would find my depictions of the human form to be disgusting.  I don't take it personally.  I realize they're not commenting on my talent or abilities.  Rather, they are apparently provoked by the subject matter.  I would guess it doesn't have much to do with the specific form of the woman they're looking at either. Fat, thin, black, white, green or blue - people have commented on almost all of my paintings with equal reverence and disgust.  It's quite a wide spectrum.  It's fascinating.

My take on it is that some people are not comfortable in their own skins, so they get triggered by looking at a nude body, particularly one which is not considered to be conventionally beautiful.  "How dare she have the gall to stand there naked?  She's so (fill in an offending adjective)!" 

I wept this morning thinking about the grief and pain some people must experience being confronted with their own bodies each day.  But truly there is nothing heinous about our bodies.  Nothing disgusting.  Nothing bad.  The curve of my thigh is beautiful.  The spots that are showing up on my skin each day as I age - interesting and fascinating.  The fat on my belly - smooth, curvy, sensuous.  None of it is horrible.  I am not horrible, or bad, or disgusting.

It's a challenge sometimes to stand by these beliefs and listen to people who feel differently.  It's hard to hear people rail against my paintings and against the idea, for example, that fat people don't deserve to be painted - or live, for that matter!  They're too gross!  Wow.  Really?  That's extreme.

All I'm saying is that our bodies are fundamentally beautiful and worthy of love.  We will feel happier if we can love our bodies and be grateful for all they do for us to allow us to exist on this earth.  I didn't know it  when I started these paintings, but I'm learning more each day that, in fact, it is hugely revolutionary to insist that we are fabulous, gorgeous and completely loveable.  Will you join the revolution?

A new model who loves her body

Last week I photographed a woman whom I saw onstage playing violin at Khalima's Raqs Illuminaire (a belly dance extravaganza).  She had a wonderful stage presence, playing her violin passionately between dance numbers.  I was happy when she asked to model for me because I was curious to get to know her better.

Here's what she wrote about her experience modeling for me:

I came into the studio feeling confident and relaxed. I am not shy with my body. I felt very comfortable being naked and being photographed. But I started to notice that I was chatty and that I had a little difficulty feeling free with my facial expressions. I realized that despite my calm I still have some pockets of shame, but not around the weight. Around being vulnerable emotionally with someone. It's OK for my body to be seen but what about the inner stuff?

And yet I made a conscious effort to stay present in the moment. I posed with the violin and in those moments was able to open the door a little to the emotions. You took lots of pictures of and asked lots of questions about my massive surgical scar, which put me in touch with both the agony of that experience as well as the deep well of strength I gained from it.

 And then you asked about the tattoo on the back of my neck, the memorial for a loved one who committed suicide. At that time I was posing looking into the mirror, and I cried. The photos capturing that moment of grief along with the tattoo are precious to me. I'm so grateful for that moment of literally naked and raw emotion.

Afterward, looking over all the photos and chatting with you I felt connected, and loving toward my body even while looking at it in photos - uncovered, unhidden, rolls and floppy bits and all. What a wonderful evening - to collaborate with you is to be visually explored from all angles, appreciated, documented, captured in art. I'm humbled and grateful and excited to see the finished product, whichever direction you take.

Later she sent me a brief addendum:

I wanted to look powerful, larger than life - and you captured this gorgeous image lying on the floor beneath me standing there, and I look gargantuan. I love that photo. It's full of power of stature and weakness of flesh. It resonates with who I feel I am - an overcomer.

I can't wait to begin painting images of this fabulous woman!  It's gonna be fun!