I was wondering if my tutoring career would go out with a bang or with a whimper, and I guess it's gone out with a whimper.  I was supposed to tutor 3 students today to help them prepare for exams, then it snowed and school was canceled for the day and 2 of the three students canceled and the one that came learned sweetly then left without an awareness of how momentous it was for me.  I might see one of the others tomorrow or in January if exams are held then, but basically I'm done - or not - sort of.  And now I'm alone in the studio, part way into cleaning up my space so I can start anew.

It's quiet.  Very quiet.  There is snow covering the ground, but dead leaves still extend through the blanket of white.  Birch leaves and holly's green and the gold of the wind chimes break the monotony of the snow and tree trunks.

I sit, alone, maker of my own fate, having decided to leave behind what I've known best for almost 24 years. 

Breathe.

Breathe.

Allow the silence to resonate within.

This is my new life.  Quiet.  Spacious.  Thought-filled.  Inside my own head, expressing outwardly in word and image.  No need to explain derivatives or chemical formulas or metaphors or how to conjugate pintar.  Instead, the opportunity to derive my own formulations and metaphors for life and goodness and painting.  It will be different to be doing more than teaching.  A first for me.

I welcome the newness.  I breathe into this new life and am grateful.

fun day in the studio

I worked on refining this piece today, making the transitions smoother, the darks darker, the shadows better.  I think it ended up at an inbetween stage that doesn't look as good as it did before I started, but it's on its way where it needs to be.

Now off to fix dinner for Chris and me - grilled marinated salmon, spoon bread, brussel sprouts - then we'll have a lovely evening talking about our intentions for the coming year and enjoying each others' company.  We're not the wild and crazy party animal types!  We'll probably be asleep before midnight!

Happy New Year to you all!  May you be blessed with creativity and joy and harmony and peace.

Finally painting again!

It felt so good to stand in front of the canvas and apply paint to it again today!  The last week I'd been tutoring in the studio, so I had my canvases put away so as not to distract my teenage students!  As soon as the final student left, I pulled out my current piece and put it up on the easel where it rested patiently until I finally came back to her today.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

I was planning to paint right away this morning but ended up having to take my son to work because his car couldn't make it through the icy snow up to the top of our hill.  Then, while I was out, it seemed like a good idea to go Christmas shopping and see if I could finish getting everything I needed for that.  By the time I got home, I was definitely what could be qualified as pissy.  Thankfully my son called to say he didn't need me to pick him up until a little bit later, so I came out here to paint until I had to go pick him up.  I made great inroads in 2 hours.  After dinner I returned to paint somemore.  Three hours later, I'm feeling like I can't do much more today.  I'll wait until tomorrow to mix up some paint for the background and re-paint it.  That will give me a chance to refine and correct the outlines where they're off. 

Today I worked on her face a lot.  The hardest part was giving the illusion of shadows of hairs over her face.  I also worked on the elbow again.   Elbows and knees are remarkably complex!  I'm finding that bellies and breasts are the easiest to paint.  But it's all interesting and challenging and fun.  When I get a certain part just right, I can feel it in my gut:  I'll be ready to apply paint to a certain area, I'll look at it, then at the photo, then I'll just know it doesn't need any more paint - it's exactly right.  It's a very good feeling! 

I'll see how it looks tomorrow when I can see it in daylight and after a night's rest - I can often see things that need fixing when I've been away from them for the night.

Tomorrow is the memorial service for the woman who died last week.  I look forward to honoring her soul.  Such a wonderful woman!

Tomorrow is also when my daughter gets home from college for a couple of weeks.  Very wonderful!  I love hanging out with her and getting a real sense of how she's doing.  Phone calls just aren't the same!  Especially on cell phones that cut off too often!