Patterns and "Don't Mess with Me!"

I had a very fun day in the studio today after being at the Monster Drawing Rally yesterday.  I wanted to try everything I'd seen done there - using compressed charcoal, oil sticks, house paint, etc., etc.  In the end, I didn't have any compressed charcoal so couldn't use it and didn't think about the house paint, but I did find an oil stick I'd bought long ago and did use it.  I also combined pastels and oil paints with the oil stick on both sanded paper (which I usually use with pastels) and canvas (which I usually only use with oils).  It was fun to experiment.  The picture on the right is called Aapples and a Tomato.  I had a lot of fun creating the pattern in the background.  I love doing these kinds of patterns.  A long time ago, the first time Dylan was in the hospital, so 8 years ago, I'd come home from the night there and do a small watercolor of a piece of fruit and put patterns in the background.  (The pumpkin is an example of one of them.)  I guess I'm coming back around to that now with oils and pastels.  The oil stick really helps because it gives me an easy way to draw the lines.  I have trouble doing them with either pastels (too thick) or a brush (too soft).

After I painted the apples and tomato, I found some small canvases (I think they're 6" square x 1.5" deep) which I painted a couple more pictures on.  First Polka dotted peach then Apple on a Tablecloth.  I left the apple uncropped to make it possible to see how deep the canvas is.

These pictures and the fun I had doing them gave me the courage to finally, finally, finally put a pattern into a portrait as I'm painting it.  I have to admit, I had a really good time doing the pattern.  I don't know why I like them so much, but I certainly know that I do!

Here's the start of the portrait.  The woman is wearing the most beautiful turquoise necklace which is an heirloom from her grandmother.  I had no idea how difficult it would be to paint.  I am aware that the necklace will certainly take longer to paint than anything else!  But it'll be fun and look very cool when it's finished, so I'm looking forward to continuing the challenge.

I love the expression on this woman's face.  It isn't that evident from this photograph, but I call it Don't Mess With Me.  It's a perfect one for me to be doing right now because that's my attitude these days!  Don't mess with me!  I can't wait to get back to it tomorrow, but I'm too tired tonight after 3 hours of painting the necklace and pattern to do anymore.  I was starting to get sloppy so it's time to quit!

The artistic journey - from Farmer's Market to volcanic explosion of passion

Tomato about to go

Introspected Pepper

Last Saturday I went to the Farmer's Market with my friend Tina.  I wasn't planning to buy much since I'd already bought to much the week before which was steadily rotting in my frig, but when she showed me the fabulous long and skinny red peppers which were curled in on themselves and the bright orange little ones, I realized they needed to be drawn!  So this week I've had a lovely time drawing peppers and tomatoes.

Of course, I realize that drawing all these color studies and peppers and tomatoes is just a way to avoid what I really want to be working on - my new female nude!  I've gotten blocked working on it and haven't gotten back to it since the first day I spent 6 hours on it.  I like how it looks now, except that it needs some revisions.  I'm worried I'll try to make it too perfect and it'll lose some of the spontenaity.  I want to throw paint at it and play, but it's at the stage where playing isn't exactly the right thing to do.

I want to start another canvas, but Chris has no time to build me one.  I have so many ideas now about what to do. I want to play with the backgrounds - splashes and slashes and curls and who knows what else?  Utter energy.

I have a photo of a friend who was clowning while wearing my floor length (fake) fur coat.  I really want to paint it.  I have a vision of how it can look.  This wonderful friend saw the work I did during Thomas's workshop, specifically the one where I was learning about Jenny Saville's methods, and said, "Why don't you paint me like that?  I wish you'd paint me like that!  It's my insides on the outside!"  So now I have her permission to play with the images of her.

Up until she gave me her permission, I've been worried about painting my models with too much frenzy and spontenaity because they won't look "beautiful and serene" when I'm finished - probably - I actually have no idea how they'll look - it would be about playing.  It would be about exploring the image and how I feel about it.  Up until now, I've approached the image from the point of the view of the model.  I've wanted to be respectful and paint a beautiful painting as a means of helping them love their bodies and how they look.  I have every intention of continuing to be respectful.  That is a given.  But I'm feeling a very strong urge to allow myself to come through more onto the canvas.  I have a wellspring of passion inside of me which I suppress pretty thoroughly which is why my paintings are so accurate and photo-based.  I'm finding that it's time to break through my own opposition to my passion and to let it flow.

I see a volcanic eruption of white fire - passion, love, anger, grief - the whole gamut of feelings I've managed to repress all these years.  I always tried to be a good girl so I wouldn't make other people uncomfortable.  Well, guess what?  I've now finally learned that if THEY are uncomfortable, it's THEIR problem!  And it isn't MY job to make them comfortable or happy or anything else.  My job is to take care of myself and to express myself fully.  If people get mad at me about that, that is for them to deal with.  Perhaps I'll get some flack.  Perhaps I'll lose some friends.  But I'll be a more full and complete human being, and I think the art I create from that place will be significantly more important and authentic and gorgeous than anything I have created heretofore.

So watch out, world!  I'm coming out!

To my models, if you have an opinion about how you prefer to be painted, I'd love to hear it.  I'm curious.  It could be I've stayed staid, thinking it was your preference, when, like with my model above, it wasn't!  It could be that playful and spontaneous is perfect for you too.  Or it could be that you prefer the perfectly rendered pictures.  Or it could be that you have 50 other things you've thought about which haven't even occurred to me yet.  Collaboration is a powerful thing - it leads to much better art than working alone, so please let me know.  I'm so curious! 

This art journey is such a GREAT one to be on!

Tomato

Colors Studies and a Tomato

Regretably, I wasn't able to get back to my new piece today.  But I did still get to create, thank goodness!  I needed to create some new work for the website ArtQuiver because I've sold two pieces there recently!  Very good news!  Here are the pieces I drew today:

light blue with outline

light blue with cream

bright with dark

bright green and orange

tomato

I don't plan to put Tomato on ArtQuiver because they don't have any of my other fruits and veggies so I doubt they'll be interested in them, but we had a beautiful tomato that needed to be drawn, so that's why I did it!  The others I just decided to have fun creating color combinations and smearing gorgeous pigment around the page.  It's such a pleasure making the color studies!