PORN IV

Here's what I think it happening - women have started to come into their own power.  We have started to assume ever more positions of power.  We are getting into politics and business.  We are beginning to have a say in the way the world is run.

I think there are men who prefer being in charge and who don't want to be usurped.  I believe that the power structure which has men dominating women and women subjugated to men and their desires is getting very, very worried that it is going DOWN.  And soon. 

Any organism's response to thinking it's dying is generally to give a last ditch effort to save itself.  Think of plants which are about to die - they will put out zillions of blooms then seeds in order to propagate so they can have their genes carried on ad infinitum.

So it is with these men who are currently in power.  As women are starting to move into positions of power, they are getting scared and are grasping to hold onto it.  Thus the incredible surge in denigrating pornography.  AND, to connect some dots here, thus the surge in legislation all around the country seeking to control women's bodies and their reproductive rights.  I'm not saying there's some huge committee somewhere deviously planning to take over the world again.  Rather, I think men all over are recognizing that women are, in fact, capable of running the world, and, if they do, it will be in a way fundamentally different than it has been being run.  I think men are afraid we'll do to them what they've done to us, so they'd rather do it to us first.

But I don't know any women who are interested in dominating men and in becoming exclusively in control.  I don't know women who want to castrate men and rend them powerless.  Women lead much differently than that.  We lead through cooperation and through finding ways to work together, through consensus.  We can do the male way of leading - just look at Hillary Clinton - she's amazing!  - but there are better ways to do things - gentler, less abrasive, and more effective ways.  Women are nurturers.  What would it be like to have a country where the leaders recognized the necessary priorities of taking care of people through education and health care and employment?  If we cared for our planet well?  If we helped others rather than competing with them?  If we listened to people and countries which were having an issue with how we do things?  What if we occasionally recognized we might be wrong?!  It can and does happen!

There are male leaders who have tried to lead this way.  But I think women are fundamentally equipped to lead differently.  I hesitate to write about the differences because then it could sound like I'm saying men and women aren't equal.  I believe we are equal, but we are also different.  Anyone with any insight into the human race can see that.

So I want to invite you who are reading this blog to consider ways in which the world could be run differently.  How would you like to see the world run?  What would you do differently?  How could you begin TODAY making that difference?  It is overwhelming to me to try to figure out how to make the world a significantly better place, but it isn't so overwhelming to take one small step like writing this blog to point out what I'm seeing.

I'd love for you to post here what you're going to do today or tomorrow or this week or this year to make a small (or large!) difference in the world.  The world needs your talents and your gifts.  I hope you will join me in envisioning a better place, a kinder, gentler world with more cooperation and less competition.  If we can imagine it, we can create it.

My body and the messages it's trying to tell me!

My body, in apparent consideration of the work I'm doing around women's bodies, has been kindly offering me many opportunities to give it careful thought lately.

Several weeks ago, as avid readers of my blog know, I was suffering from horrendous headaches then was afflicted with an insane rash under my arms and between my legs.  The doctor rashly (pun intended) diagnosed Lyme's disease (I'd also been feasted upon by four ticks in the previous 2 weeks) and put me on antibiotics.  The Lyme's titer came back negative, so that ended up being a dead end.  Thankfully the rash cleared up, but the headaches continued unabated.

I'd been doing some body work with the amazing Karen Morris, massage therapist, and it had led me deep, deep, deep into my psyche.  My gut feeling was that the physical symptoms were a manifestation of the emotional work I was doing.  The headaches began after our first session.  The rash sprang up two days after our second one. 

I went back to Karen to see if we needed to go deeper or if we could clear out whatever it was that was causing such pain.

We had an incredible session.  She bore into the areas which were painful, eventually heading to between my shoulder blades.  I asked her to pull on my right shoulder blade to the point where it felt like it might dislocate.  It pulled tremendous grief out of me.  I had an injury there when I was a child - my shoulder had gotten pulled out of joint  - and apparently my body was still holding tension, pain, and grief there.  Through Karen's ministrations, I was able to release that pain and grief. In addition to the tension, I also released the message I'd gotten along with the injury- to be a good girl and not express myself.  That message gone, I felt enormous empowerment and determination to do the work I'm meant to be doing in the world - empowering women to LOVE our bodies!

I think I've been holding back with my art and my writing for fear of offending people or saying or doing the wrong thing.  This is challenging work because people sometimes get triggered, and I sometimes get the fallout from their distress.  It takes conscious effort to decide to put myself out there fully.  And it's important for me to be centered and clear about my intention when I do it, to know I'm acting from a loving, compassionate, clean place.

That session with Karen led me to realize that the headaches were giving me the opportunity to stop doing my work.  The pain was stultifying.  It was very difficult to work through them.  I could have, with impunity, stopped there and taken to my bed.  Thankfully, though, I was able to realize that the pain was a gift.  It was an opportunity to look at my options and to choose the higher path.  I choose to create.  I choose to share my understanding.  I choose to share my art and my writing.  I choose to do this work even if it bothers others.  I choose to do it because I believe it will help others heal.  I believe it will help women see themselves and others with more compassion and kindness and love.  And I believe that I can help make the world a kinder place through my work.  I must continue it.

With those realizations, my headaches all but ceased.  A couple of times I started to get another one.  I realized quickly that they were tied to feelings of rage.  When I started getting angry, my head would get tight and I would start to hurt.  If I could release the anger, the headache would dissipate.  I am learning to find other ways to work with the information I have other than rage.  Settling into rage isn't helpful - it's actually a very helpless place to be - that's probably why it hurts.

And now I've got poison ivy.  I'm a terrible scratcher.  I have difficult stopping myself from scratching when something itches.

This morning I awoke with insight into that - it's kind of like what I do with emotional issues - if they scratch, I itch.  Deep.  And perhaps too roughly sometimes.  Perhaps I cause myself pain when I scratch too hard.  Just like I have with the poison ivy.  I am contemplating today whether I could perhaps turn my attention elsewhere when the urge to scratch arises - not deny the sensation and desire but rather
notice it and choose to do something else because the scratching is painful and destructive.  It's a new thought.  I don't know what'll come of it, but I'm curious about the possibility it presents.

The upshot of it is that I'm noticing that my body is giving me many opportunities these days to take a look at my feelings, my  beliefs, my past, and plenty of other things.  These messages from my body at times feel like a rather corrosive hag working extremely hard to get my attention with the extreme pain.  Maybe though, it's more like a very, very concerned parent trying to let me know I need to change my behavior and be kinder to myself in order to have a better life.  I'm hoping to begin to take time to focus gently on the messages my body is giving me and to listen more attentively so it doesn't have to go to such extreme lengths to get my attention from here on out.  Ticks, headaches, rashes, poison ivy - very creative, but not so welcome!  I promise to listen better now!  And I'm grateful for the lessons I'm gleaning from these opportunities.  Truly.