Motherhood and Women and Power

One of the things that has stuck with me from my time at Omega Institute last weekend is the power of mothers.  A daunting number of the speakers had been abused during their childhoods and were damaged so much from their experiences.  Several asked the question, "Why didn't anyone protect me?  Where was my mother?"  In a couple of cases, it was the mother who abandoned the child and left her stranded, caring for her younger siblings or at the very least for herself.

The most moving example of the pain a mother can cause her child was given by the young woman from South Africa (I wish I knew her name, but she isn't listed in the presenters and I didn't write it down - I was too caught up listening to her to take note of it!  I think it might have been Samu Khumalo).  Samu was 19, raised in a township in utter poverty.  Her mother had 4 children, I think. Samu was the oldest.  Her mother, starting from when this young woman was 12, would leave their shelter and stay with various and sundry men, leaving Samu to take care of her siblings.  She managed to get through high school and wanted more for herself than life seemed ready to offer her.  I'm forgetting the details of her story but it had something to do with starting a group to empower girls and doing theater.  She got involved in Eve Ensler's play "I am an Emotional Creature."  She was telling us about her life and broke down in tears, "I don't know why my mother doesn't love me.  I don't know what to do.  I am a good girl.  I have done all I can.  I have cared for my siblings.  I did well in school.  I don't understand."  She was sobbing, wracked with the pain of her abandonment by her mother.  It was heart-wrenching seeing her pain and knowing there is no way to get past it other than to allow oneself to feel it just as she was doing with us.  I was glad she had so many sisters, 500 of us, there to witness her pain and to hold her in  our warm embrace.

Another presenter spoke of being abused by her stepfather for many years without her mother doing anything about it.  B. didn't know why her mother didn't do anything - how could she NOT have known.  This question stayed between them for a lifetime until B's mother was nearing death.  Then, finally, at the urging of her therapist, B told her mother what had happened.  Her mother, always a loving and wonderful woman, came through.  She told B, forcefully, "You are no longer alone.  You do not have to carry this alone anymore.  I am here for you."  What a gift to B to hear those words from her mother.  It sounded like it was exceedingly healing.  We were all there for her as well, feeling the longing of our own hearts to hear just the right words from our mothers before they die.

I wonder about mothers and their power over their children.  An acquaintance who worked with girls in a residential treatment center indicated his astonishment that children almost always want to go back to their mothers, no matter how poorly treated they have been.  They need their mothers, their love, their nurturing.  When they don't get it, there is a void in their lives which must be filled one way or another.  Some children are fortunate enough to find substitutes.  Or they have an inner strength which defies understanding and they grow up to be incredible people, tempered by the pain of their childhood.  Others never get what they need.  They feel empty, and they search for that love and approval for the rest of their lives.

"Thirty Seconds Old" - my younger son and me 30 seconds after giving birth to him.

As my children were growing up, it was difficult for me to fathom that I could possibly have as much impact on my children as my mother did on me or her mother did on her, but logically I suppose that must be the case.  How could it not be?  My prayer is that they know I love them unconditionally and accept them no matter what.  I want them to be happy.  I want them to feel fulfilled in their lives, whatever that takes.  I don't care whom they love - man or woman or in between, black or white or brown or whatever.  It just doesn't matter.  What matters is that they find sustainable joy in their lives and that they feel good about who they are.  They don't have to answer to me, just to themselves.  I want them to be able to come to me with their burdens and lay them down at my feet.  I will help however I can.  And I also trust that they have the wherewithal to figure out their own solutions.  I can't know what's right for them.  I can listen gently and compassionately and can, perhaps, help them find their way to their own needs and desires, but I cannot know what they need.  It would presumptuous of me to try to convince them to act a certain way or marry a certain person or whatever.  Who am I to know?!  It's difficult enough for me to discern my own path.  How can I presume to know that for another? 

My children have had pain in their lives.  Both of my sons have had life-saving operations.  My younger son's operation left him with some life-altering repercussions.  It was painful going through the operations with them as the responsible adult because I couldn't know if they would live or be permanently handicapped or physically or psychologically scarred.  It was mind-blowingly painful to be present to their experiences and know there was truly nothing I could do for them other than be there and manage my own anxiety sufficiently well to be able to be present to them.  I couldn't make it better.  I couldn't heal them.  I was helpless  I had no control.  For a woman raised with a strong need to control things, this was a very tough lesson.  I learned to surrender and to trust that all would be well, one way or another.  And it is.  My sons are splendid men.  They have scars, but they wear them well.  They are stronger men for the operations they have had.  They have worked with their adversity and turned it into strengths.  I am proud of them and so happy when we spend time together.  My heart bursts with joy.

Nuzzling her Baby

And my daughter - she had no operations.  She's the middle child and has had more than one birthday when one of her brothers was in the hospital and her parents were completely preoccupied.  She's sweet and loving and compassionate and also a tigress.  She is wonderfully intense and fabulous and committed to important causes.  She's been a vegan since she was 11 or 12, despite my unwillingness to prepare two meals for the family to meet her needs.  Instead she became a wonderful cook and baking is now one of her strong passions.  She is a strong woman who knows her mind.  Open-hearted and compassionate, very self-aware and knowledgeable, not to mention intelligent as can be, she is set to make a huge difference in the world.  And, best of all, she will still cuddle up to me on the couch as we watch a movie and will put her arm around me as we walk down the street, and will let people know she thinks I'm cool.  What more could a mom ask?

Beautiful Woman

Sometimes I wonder what my kids think of me - when they were kids, I was in the process of learning to paint, and my subject matter was usually the nude - pregnant women and men for several years.  My older son told me he refused to have friends over because he didn't want them to see the drawings.  Later though, when he was in college, he took some of my artwork to his apartment.  It was a set of three drawings of women's breasts.  When people would comment on them, he'd quip, "Yeah, those are my mom's breasts."  (They weren't mine - I just drew them.)  He got a kick out of seeing their response.  I also was outrageous and did Contact Improvisation, a form of dance which is all about the interaction between two people and the space between them.  I often had fellow dancers over who would lounge all over each other, draped as if people were just other pieces of furniture.  The kids took it in stride but as they got older they let me know they thought it was weird - "Mom, it's like clothed sex."  Then my daughter ended up at Oberlin where Contact started and had friends who did it there.  I think that normalized it a tiny bit, but she still wasn't interested for herself.  I guess they had the grace to accept me as I was, even though I was "weird".  Perhaps it gave them permission to follow their own bliss and do what they wanted to without having to worry about conforming to the societal norm.  Neither I nor their father could be accused of having done that horrible thing!

I think my kids think I'm cool.  My daughter said as much when she told me her friends thought I was cool because I gave her the book Cunt to read.  I wanted her to get more comfortable with her body.

They also know I have limits and can be strict - or was when they were kids.  I don't drink much alcohol at all, so it's a big deal if they see me with a glass of wine at dinner or hear I had one. They know how I feel about drugs - I'm not a big fan.  So I know they think I'm a bit of a stickler about those things.  Oh well.  Better that than a raving alcoholic who passes out each night...

I was strict too. My older son had a group of friends over one night for a sleepover.  They called themselves nerds, and it was true.  Their idea of a great night was bringing over a bunch of computers and networking them together so they could play computer games all night.  As long as I provided sufficient junk food, they were in heaven.  I didn't interfere much - just went down to let them know when I was going to sleep so they'd keep it down.  They were good kids.  One night, though, as I was going to sleep, I heard noises outside around 1 AM.  The gate creaked open then clicked shut.  I waited a moment then went downstairs to see what was up.  I asked where everyone was.  They told me they were in the bathroom - 2-3 big guys in a 16 sq ft bathroom?  Doubtful.  I gave them the eye and asked where they really were.  Finally someone confessed that they'd gone for a walk to 7-11, about a mile away, at 1 in the morning.  I was pissed.  They knew better.  I didn't know what to do.  I was a single mother with two younger kids in the house as well as these 14-15 year old boys.  I didn't know what these kids might be up to.  So I called the police to ask them to help me out.  They came over to question me to find out what was up.  While they were there, the boys showed up, sheepish, concerned, then freaked out.  The policemen were completely nice and kind.  They told the boys they were out after curfew and shouldn't have been.  They explained that they could have gotten into trouble and that it wasn't respectful of me to do that since I was responsible for them.  They suggested I call the boys' parents and have them come get them.  Yes, at 2 AM.  An hour or so later, some bedraggled and frankly confused parents showed up to pick up their chagrined boys.  My son was mortified and pissed.  No one seemed to understand why I had reacted how I had, but I felt completely justified.  The boys were on the brink of becoming teenagers and being able to drive.  I wasn't about to let them think they could get away with sneaking out at night from my house, even if their reason was completely innocuous.  Needless to say, I wasn't the most popular parent from then on out, but the kids respected me with a healthy fear.  My son is still friends with almost all of those people, and we get along well.  I like them completely, and I think they know they can count on me to be fair and even-handed and honest, if, perhaps, a bit over-reactive.  So what?  It was my job to protect my kids and keep them safe.  They didn't have to like me!

I know my heart is bonded to my children for eternity.  I would do anything possible for them.  Isn't it interesting that I can't quite wrap my mind around the idea that I mean so much to them too? 

How is it for you?  Did you get what you need from your mother?  If you're a mother, how do you perceive yourself vis-a-vis your children and their needs and their relationship to you?  How do you think they'd describe you?

Eve Ensler at Omega Institute's Women and Power Conference

This past weekend I attended the Women and Power Conference at Omega Institute in Rheinbeck, NY.  I had been looking forward to it for a couple of months - as soon as I saw it listed, I wanted to sign up.  Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues and founder of V-day and 1-billion-rising, was the primary draw for me, but Isabelle Allende and Sally Field were at the top of the list of women I wanted to hear speak as well.  I didn't know the other participants by name, but I came to respect each and every one of them as the weekend progressed.

So imagine this - 500 expectant women (and about 6 intrepid men) sitting on the edge of their seats waiting to see women they've admired for decades and others they've never heard of.  Imagine that each of those participants is a kick-ass activist herself, women who make my head spin with delight with each story I hear.  Imagine a weekend of getting to know incredible women who are working hard to change the world and to heal themselves and the planet and society.  They are working on climate change, water issues, gender parity, rape and abuse issues, genital mutilation.  They've founded NGO's. They've written books. They've been stay-at-home moms raising their children to be gentle world changers themselves.  They've traveled the world working with victims of war.  They've stayed in their own towns and worked on improving local conditions.  They've worked within organizations to promote change from within, or they've launched protests from the outside.  Every woman I met had a story that inspired me.

Then there were the speakers!  I had come to hear Eve Ensler.  I've been aware of her work for the last ten years or so when I read The Vagina Monologues.  Then I read some of her other work and saw a documentary about the work she did with prison inmates, teaching them writing and producing their writing in the prison with professional actors such as Glenn Close.  I learned of Eve's work in the Congo with women who have been raped or have suffered other brutal devastation there.  I joined her movement, 1 Billion Rising, to have women all over the world stop for a time on 2/14/13 and DANCE and express the joy of being alive.  The point is also to show the world we are a force to be reckoned with, and it is time for the world to shift, for women to no longer be abused or degraded or hurt or mutilated or enslaved, but rather to be empowered and to govern and to help run the world the way women do it so well - through compromise, compassion, empathy, and conversation.  Through stories.

Eve gave an impassioned talk sharing much about her own life and about the horrors she has seen as she's traveled the globe interviewing and helping women whose lives have unbearable pain in them.  She talked about the joy and healing and POWER she sees in these women.  I bought her book Insecure at Last: A Political Memoir and have already read half of it today.  It is brilliant and compelling and horrifying and makes me want to join her in her quest to change the world.  Today.

Here's a passage from the book to give you a feel for Eve's writing, the immediacy and intensity of it.  This passage takes place right after she had been overseas interviewing women in Bosnia and the plane she was on almost crashed into the ocean:

Eventually I came back to earth - well, the plane landed.  In fact, something crucial inside me had changed.  Sure footing was gone.  I had seen how easily neighbors and supposed friends could turn against their friends and neighbors [on her trip in Bosnia].  I had seen how in a split second a comfortable life could become a nightmare.  I had seen how quickly fascist thugs could rise to power by manipulating the people with tactics of racism and terror.

Suddenly nothing was secure.  Nothing was dependable.  Nothing was what it appeared to be.  My life in the U.S. seemed bizarre and irrelevant for months afterward.  Most of me remained in Croatia and Pakistan with those women.  The memory of their stories and faces and beings made my falsely constructed and misdirected life impossible.  I was completely disoriented, unwilling and unable to participate in business as usual.  The deconstruction of the notion of security threw me into the center of sadness, rage, and a torrent of other emotions.  Oddly though, I was not depressed.  Lost, searching, emotional, but not depressed.  It had been my denial itself, not the painful things I had been denying, that had been depressing and isolating me.  It had been my clinging to what I instinctively knew were lies and illusions that had reduced and imprisoned me.

The suffering she experienced in her own life has given her a dose of rage and significant energy to take on the world and to try to change it.  It has also given her an enormous capacity for compassion.  I experienced it firsthand.  I spoke with her after her talk at Omega.  I wanted to have a long conversation with her and to ask her how she does what she does, but I recognized that she is a busy woman with many demands on her time so I simply told her how much her work means to me.  She turned to me, looked me directly in the eyes, was completely present to me.  She embraced me warmly, deeply.  I told her I want to be her when I grow up, sort of tongue-in-cheek, half serious.  She looked into my eyes and said, "Be YOU."  Immediately.  Clearly.  I wish I'd said I want my work to have the sort of impact her work has.  I told her what I do - paint female nudes with the desire to change how women feel about their bodies.  She said, "Oh, I love female nudes!  I'd love to see your work!"  I said, "I have my book with me.  May I give you a copy of it?"  "Yes, absolutely."  I hurried to get it from my things and presented it to her.  Though there were 10 other people waiting to speak with her, she took the time to look at the images and to exclaim over their beauty - Models, you have been admired yet again! -  and to say she'll be in touch.  She embraced me again and I felt enfolded in tremendous warmth and love.  I can't adequately describe how much the encounter meant to me.  I hope I don't sound like a blithering fan who's awed by her idol - it isn't like that.  Rather, I felt completely seen and appreciated for me, for what I have to offer the world, for who I am.  Her complete attention and focus in the midst of 100's of people after giving a rousing, passionate talk was a gift I hope I will never forget.  It inspires me to learn to focus so completely on people I speak with.  And it helps me feel re-energized for the tasks at hand.

Yesterday I had to leave Omega.  The conference was over and I couldn't postpone leaving any longer without having too few hours of daylight left for driving.  Once I was on the interstate, I called Chris to tell him about my time there.  I started to tell him about my conversation with Eve and began weeping, feeling the power of it.  I told him about the other women and their stories and began sobbing with the beauty of it all.  I pulled off the highway into a rest stop and talked for at least another hour, crying with the overwhelming emotion and fabulousness of it.  I was moved by every one of the speakers.  I wish I could spend my life in the company of such women whose passions are so powerful.

Elizabeth Lesser, one of the co-founders of Omega Institute, warned us at the end of the conference:  "You have just had a very powerful experience.  Chances are you will want to go home and change the world.  But I caution you - don't put your house on the market tomorrow.  Wait at least a month.  Let things settle in and get clarity about what you can do.  Let the energy integrate first."

Wise words.  I am grateful for them, because I felt exactly that way.

Coming up - tales of other speakers.  Stay tuned!

Here's a link to a transcript of the talk Eve gave at the conference in case you'd like to read it yourself.  It's powerful stuff!  http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/sep/24/one-billion-rising-end-violence-women?intcmp=239

Pictures and Statistics from Beyond Barbie - a huge success!

Beyond Barbie: Piecing Together Today's Woman ended in early November with "Life in the First Person", a series of readings by seven different writers.  It, like all the other performances, was stellar.  I have been blown away by the deep sharing that took place during each evening.  The topics were completely varied: Birth, Body Modification, Dance, Spoken Word, Eating Disorders, the Blues, and Intimate Partner Abuse and each was fascinating, rich, fun, poignant, spirit-filled, empowering, interesting, etc., etc., etc.!

Khalima and Dawn Flores after Khalima's performance of Longing at Unity, one of the connections made through Beyond Barbie

Linda Goodman, Lisette Johnson, Megan Hicks, and Susan Singer at Through the Fire

I spent some time trying to figure out what they had in common - what I came up with was the authenticity of the performers.  They all presented their material from the heart, sharing what was true for them openly, without artifice, and the audience members held the space safely, recognizing the sacredness of that deep sharing.  We covered topics which weren't comfortable to be with like the death of a baby, being shot by ones husband, female circumcision, for example, yet we were able to be with the discomfort and feel compassion for the tellers because we could see their humanity.  No Hollywood manipulation was necessary.  No Jerry-Springer-like over-the-top histrionics.  The Truth was sufficient.  It was "Reality TV" at its best.  My heart was flooded with compassion and empathy with each story.

Yet the stories weren't all sad either.  One woman shared about being photographed by Playboy when she was a teen.  Another shared a beautiful birth story.  We watched dances that expressed great joy and spirituality, and we listened to Gaye Adegbalola sing the Blues full of empowerment and heartfelt goodness.  The range was extensive, just like in real life, condensed into seven evenings of community.
I gathered some numbers from the series which might be interesting to you:

302 - VERY approximate number of different people who attended one or more of the performances.
500 - approximate total number of attendees over the course of seven weeks
$4880 - amount of money brought in through sales of tickets for Beyond Barbie
$413 - amount donated to charity - Eating Disorder Coalition
27 - number of artists paid by BB for performing
100+/- - greatest # of people at one night - Life in the First Person
197 (and growing) - number of FB fans of BB
15 - # of people who've expressed an interest in keeping BB going
1000's - number of new connections and friends made through BB!
5 - the number of articles written about Not Barbie or Beyond Barbie (RVAMag, Richmond.com, Style Weekly, Richmond Times-Dispatch, and Richmond Magazine

Sheila Gray, performer at Life in the First Person

“Beyond Barbie – Caught in a Fun House Mirror”, by Matt Wetsel, http://rvamag.com/articles/full/12902/beyond-barbie-caught-in-a-fun-house-mirror, Nov 2

“Exhibit Reveals More Than Just Skin”, by Alix Bryan, Richmond.com, http://www2.richmond.com/entertainment/2011/sep/21/exhibit-reveals-more-just-skin-ar-1324017/, Sept 21

“Naked Truth: Susan Singer’s ‘Not Barbie’ lets it all hang out at Crossroads Art Center”, Style Weekly, http://www.styleweekly.com/richmond/naked-truth/Content?oid=1611275, Sept 13

“REAL WOMEN: Exhibit Focuses on Beauty and Body Image”, Richmond Times Dispatch, http://www2.timesdispatch.com/entertainment/flair/2011/sep/11/tdflair01-real-women-ar-1292440/, Sept 12

“Body Work”, Richmond Magazine, by Anne Dryfuss, http://www.richmondmagazine.com/?articleID=fbd27566dda996c75c42c531912d579c, Sept

Linda Goodman and Denise Bennett at Through the Fire

By all accounts, the shows were a fabulous success, and I'm deeply grateful to each and every person who participated either by performing or attending or buying ads for the program or providing us with space (thanks, Jenni Kirby and everybody else at Crossroads!) or by supporting those of us who did all those things.  I truly believe that this series helped shift the paradigm of how we see women.  We have come to recognize the strength in being real, honest, authentic and vulnerable.  Ironically, it is not a place of weakness - it is a place of strength and empowerment.

May we each go onward from this day forward to be our authentic selves, Beyond Barbie!

Shameless Survivor

I just realized I never posted the finished version of Shameless Survivor so here it is now.  This woman was part of Beyond Barbie's night called Through the Fire, a presentation on intimate partner abuse.  Lisette, the woman pictured here, was shot by her husband who then killed himself.  She read three entries from her blog, http://www.shamelesssurvivors.com/.  They were so powerful, they left me speechless and have resonated with me all week since then.  The one I found most moving answered the question so many people ask her, "If your husband was so abusive, why didn't you leave?"  She read a list of reasons she didn't such as feeling so bad about herself (because she believed what he said) that she had no ability to leave.  It was tough, powerful stuff to listen to. 

If you or someone you know is in a relationship that may be abusive, please know that Lisette's blog can be a resource to you, and there is much other help available, for example, Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE or YWCA.

May this painting help encourage others to seek the help they need and to know that they deserve to be treated like the wonderful people they are.

A new painting: Shameless Survivor

Yesterday I had the acute pleasure of spending four and a half uninterrupted hours in the studio working on a new commission.  I need to have it finished in time for the opening of Not Barbie: A Celebration of Real Women (Sept 16th at 6 at Crossroads Art Center, with Artist Talk at 5:30).  After a couple of weeks of caring for my 19-year-old son who just had surgery for scoliosis, I could really feel the luxury of the pleasure of being inside my own head, inside my own studio, painting, drawing, doing whatever spoke to me, not worried about his surgery or the outcome of it.  He is healing remarkably well and is making huge strides towards independence already.  He's amazing.

This painting feels like a very important one to be doing.  The subject of the portrait was in a marriage which went awry in the worst way.  Her husband's solution was to shoot her and himself. Thankfully she survived.  And has become a powerful advocate for women living in abusive situations.  This portrait is a celebration and commemoration of her survival and all that means for the world that she is still in it.  It inspires me to paint her.  I painted her scars yesterday and couldn't help but think why she has them and the courage it must take to let the world see them also.  She is wearing her husband's Brooks Brother shirt because when they dressed up and they went out together, things were good between them.  It was the time with him when she felt safe.

I feel honored to be painting this woman, the powerful, empowered, empowering woman who has survived a horror and is using her experience to help others.  Bravo, Shameless Survivor!  Thank you!

If you want to hear more about her story, she will be one of the participants in Beyond Barbie's evening Thursday, October 13 called Through the Fire: Reclaiming Lost Power After Trauma and Abuse.  For more information, you can visit my website where I have information about all the evenings for Beyond Barbie.

Donate Profits or Pay the Artists?

Yesterday I wrote about the down side of charity auctions and being an artist.  Today I'll address an issue which has come up as I've been working on the performance series, Beyond Barbie.

In doing the work to plan the series, I've been interested to find that people sometimes ask me which non-profit we'll be giving our proceeds to.   When I tell them that the profits will be divided among the performers, they are sometimes surprised.  I think they feel that a project with this sort of emphasis on women's issues should support women's charities or other good causes.



I can understand their feelings.  I also strongly believe that artists should be supported for the work they do.  And this project is being put on primarily by artists and performers who are giving of their time and talent to entertain, inform, and engage audience members who will attend.  It's an interesting concept to think that we should donate our proceeds to non-profits instead of use that income to support ourselves and our art, much of which is helping change the world in ways non-profits typically do. 

Just to bring it into focus personally, in January I chose to quit my well-paying job so that I could pursue my art full time because I have a passion to change how people feel about women's bodies and the way the media portrays us.  I don't have anyone paying me for this work.  I have to raise my own salary through perseverance and dedication to my ideals.  I am spending 25-35 hours/week to put on this series while also preparing for my own huge art show, Not Barbie.  I don't have another source of income, so to be able to do this, I need to get compensated.  If I don't, I simply can't afford to do it.


A woman wrote me expressing her desire that we should give 50% of our profits after expenses to a [very excellent, well-respected, very deserving] local charity.  Here is what I responded to her:

I can certainly understand your desire to help make a difference to nonprofit agencies in the area.  I am aligned with that, for sure.  I also believe that artists deserve to get paid for the work they do, and the artists involved in Beyond Barbie are working very hard to make a difference just as folks in non-profits do.

 My belief is that artists are a vital part of any civilization.  Artists help others become aware of the status quo and what about it needs to change.  If you think about any era of civilization, from the ancient to the present, you probably think about the art from that time, because it is the art that shows us what we need to know about the civilization.

Artists rarely get funding from the government or from private foundations.  They work behind the scenes, often living close to the edge because their commitment to their art is strong enough that they must do it, regardless of the cost.  Artists have a vision and work to realize it.  That is really no different than what non-profits do.  For example, I want to change how women feel about their bodies - I want advertisers to change how they portray women - I want to help us all accept our differences and give up judgment of others.  Those are laudable efforts.  I could incorporate into a non-profit, come up with a mission statement, rent an office, hire workers, and work in many ways to get this message across.  Instead I am choosing to get my message across through my paintings and through this series.  Is that any less effective than what a non-profit would do?  or any less worthy of support?

The night of our series on Birth - women will be telling their stories and sharing their joys and heartaches.  Those stories, more than anything else I can think of, will effectively help women see that they have a choice in birthing options and that all can be good.  It can lead to healing for those women whose births were less than what they wished they would be.  Counseling could help them.  Support groups could help.  And I believe that this night of storytelling and sharing their own experiences will do a world of good, even without a non-profit.

The night on Abuse - we will have professional storytellers (Megan Hicks and Linda Goodman) there who have put their hearts and souls into creating stories about abuse with the intention of helping people understand what abuse is and how it affects people, and to give them hope for healing.  Yes, [the charity you're recommending] is fantastic.  It is a god-send for women living in abusive situations.  I support it wholeheartedly.  AND perhaps there will be women who attend our program that evening who will feel called to go to [that charity] because they recognize themselves in the stories we're telling.  These stories can directly prompt people to action they might not have know how to take otherwise.  We will have lists of resources for them to use, wonderful non-profits and therapists, etc., if they chose to take the next step.  My assertion is that the women who have taken the time to process their own lives to the point where they can tell their stories, or the stories of their mothers and grandmothers or friends or lovers, deserve to be honored for their services, and in our society, money is one way of honoring people.  They should get support so they can continue to tell their stories so they can continue to make a difference.

I believe each evening we've planned has a similar ability to help people.  [...] My heartfelt belief [is]  that what we're doing is as important as much of the work that non-profits do.  Beyond Barbie isn't a money-making scheme.  It's a reaching out to community to offer our stories and our hearts to others to help them understand us and heal themselves.   Non-profits are a vital part of our society because there are few other ways for the hurting in our midst to get help and support.  My husband has worked in the non-profit sector for years, and I was a teacher for 25 years, so I'm very familiar with them.  Right now I am taking direct action to make a difference, AND I am ready to monetarily honor those who help me do it, to the extent the ticket sales make that possible.

Have you personally had an experience as an artist/creative where you felt your work was undervalued or misunderstood for the contribution it is to society?