tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2007302601627741320.post4260330262976948120..comments2023-08-02T07:57:01.366-04:00Comments on Exploring Women's Bodies: On Getting Your PeriodSusan Singerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15671344932984846207noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2007302601627741320.post-89865200011879202742011-01-21T18:44:04.489-05:002011-01-21T18:44:04.489-05:00Overwhelmingly positive. I was 4 1/2 for the firs...Overwhelmingly positive. I was 4 1/2 for the first (I had one brother in between, but I was only 19 months old that time and wasn't present). My parents had assumed that I'd stay with a relative, but as the birth approached, they realized that I was expecting to be there. They changed hospitals because the one where they planned to be for the birth forbade children in the birthing rooms due to concern about traumatizing them. A few miles away, in another town/another state, there were no such concerns. I stayed awake all night, eager to see my sibling being born, and was at the side/foot of the bed during the grand event, kissed him right away, LOVED it and told my mom that I wanted to have babies. HA! So much for being traumatized. At the birth of the fourth child, all three of us were there, and ditto for the birth of the fifth. That one was the only one that was hard for me - I was 11 and I found the sounds my mom made embarassing. It wasn't the gore or the body parts involved, it was the sensuality/intimacy of the moaning. <br /><br />I credit those experiences for being part of my own feelings of competence when it came to birthing my own children. While I wasn't eager to experience labor in my teens and early 20s, I knew I would do it and I didn't fear it. What's more, my mother did not use pain medication, so I had a sense that labor and birth were hard, sometimes painful work, but that I was up to the task. <br /><br />I'm sure my own childhood experiences also influenced my parenting choices - I'm very open about nudity, menstruation, sex, pregnancy, and birth. My older children have a lot of access to the "facts of life" (in manners appropriate to their cognitive and emotional abilities) and the oldest was present when the youngest was born at home.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17428005109109803363noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2007302601627741320.post-58878916401064809932011-01-21T09:57:21.446-05:002011-01-21T09:57:21.446-05:00Thanks for your terrific story. I love your disti...Thanks for your terrific story. I love your distinction between physiology and sexuality. That makes a lot of sense to me. I think for many people the two are so intertwined that it's all that much harder to talk about periods - it's all just "down there - gross! - with the pee and poop and blood". <br /><br />I'd love to hear how it was for you to be there when your siblings were born. I've heard cautionary tales that kids will be damaged by seeing that (not that I particularly agree), and I'm wondering if it was a positive or negative experience for you?Susan Singerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15671344932984846207noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2007302601627741320.post-8095870120302790572011-01-21T08:45:57.026-05:002011-01-21T08:45:57.026-05:00You know what's funny about my first period? H...You know what's funny about my first period? How easy it was to tell my mom! It's interesting to realize this, because it highlights for me in a new way how separate the physiology piece was from the sexuality piece in my family. Talking about my developing uterus? Easy. Talking about the development of me as a sexual, sensual being? No way in hell. <br /><br />My mom was a childbirth instructor in the '70s and a natural birth proponent. Pregnancy and birth were everyday topics in our home and eventually I witnessed the births of my three youngest siblings. I can remember being three or four and seeing my mom change her sanitary napkins, and she explained what they were to me. My preadolescence was spent desperately wishing for breasts and my period. <br /><br />When my period actually came for the first time, at 13, almost 14 years old, it was just one or two brownish spots on my underwear at the end of a beach trip. I remember being in one public restroom stall with my mom in the next, and telling her through the wall that I thought maybe this was my period (I was surprised, I had expected it to be heavier the first time), and that I needed her to buy me some pads. She was pretty matter-of-fact about it. Not congratulatory, not embarassed. <br /><br />A month or so later when my first "real" period started, heavy and crampy, I was equipped with thick pillowy pads. I waited for the bus on the first day of my high school career with this mattress between my legs, feeling crinkly and certain that everybody could hear it or smell it or see the way I walked. I didn't comment on those worries to my mom, who was at the bus stop with me. They seemed more personal, less physiological.Jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17428005109109803363noreply@blogger.com